How to further cultivate relationships to create and maintain a strong bond.
Everything takes love – especially relationships. You honestly cannot expect a relationship to grow itself.
You are probably thinking, yeah but what about those friendships where you haven’t seen each other for years and you somehow pick up where you left off.
Those are beautiful and I suggest you hang onto those people for as long as you see fit. Even though it may seem as though there isn’t any cultivating, there actually is. These relationships are staying strong because you and your friend are constantly sending positivity, love, acceptance and vibrations of allowing the other person to grow and transform as they want. There aren’t any barriers on the friendship and you both just allow the other person to be exactly who they are. There are no expectations of needing to be something for the other and therefore no one is stuck in a box or previous image of what they are “supposed” to be.
These relationships are still being loved, cultivated and encouraged from afar. It’s like taking the plant out of the house and encouraging its growth outside – allowing it to be free to grow as much as possible without a need for it to be owned for your own pleasure. This is a form of ultimate freedom for each person.
The very BEST type of relationship. Freedom to grow and transform with zero expectation other than their own happiness.
Express love and appreciation to the ones you love and appreciate.
I believe that if we all give according to our love language then Christmas would have a beautiful presence around it instead of the negative stigma that it currently has. Christmas to me always felt stressful – actually all of December seemed to have become a stressful time of year for me because of the pressures of HAVING to buy gifts for people. It was usually a race in the mall to find something that each person would probably enjoy, but who knows. I didn’t enjoy the process at all, I just felt I was doing it out of obligation. It did not feel like what Christmas I believed should feel like (love, warmth and celebration). This past year I mailed out cards to all of my family members (no one gets cards in the mail, especially from the younger generation it seems). The individual cards expressed how much that person meant to me and how much I love them. All of these messages were purely personal and gifts straight from my heart. The response from each person/family who received these cards was overwhelming for them and for me. Because they weren’t used to this vulnerability that I was showing, it allowed them to open up to an intense vulnerability that maybe they had never felt toward me. Many of them had told me that they small act of kindness and love brought them to tears of love. They then responded by letting me know how much they also love and appreciate me with their own words of affirmation.
This act of kindness and giving opened up my heart and others’ hearts so wide, and ultimately allowed me to have the most memorable Christmas that I have ever had, because I did what was best for me and gave in my own love language.
Focus on thriving in your relationships – partner, children, work peers, boss, strangers, cashiers. This giving and receiving of beautiful communication will help you flourish as an effective communicator, and also release serotonin because positive interactions will take place. And if there is a time when someone snaps at you or doesn’t give the response you were hoping for, that’s 100% ok. You can be exactly who and how you want to be and it’s common courtesy that you do that for them as well. You don’t know their past, future or present situation that they could be dealing with. Remember that we are all dealing with something whether big or small, it’s sometimes all consuming. Because we must work to bring home money to survive, we can’t just call in sick every time we have an emotional upset, therefore the probability that 80% of the population of human beings is dealing with something right now. They won’t tell you their troubles because they are allowed to keep that to themselves. If we considered walking smile in someone else’s shoes, maybe we would have more understanding, sympathy and empathy with others. This is a very humbling experience.
Before you do something like an activity or even suggest your partner or friend do the same, always ask and be mindful of what they think about that – otherwise forcing someone to do something when you know they don’t really want to, can lead to more difficulties. This is where pure honesty is important so that everyone knows they are on the same page.
Be involved in the other person’s interests – stay positive about it
Go with the flow with each other as much as possible
Be open and genuine. Allow them in.
Trust the other person
Have great communication.
Recap week 10 triggers.
Ask yourself some questions for next time (it will happen again and again until you are able to be neutral to the situation.)
Effective communication is when two people are given the respect and freedom to speak and be heard.
*Remember your Beyond Balance 5 Step Process to Reducing Reactivity