Forgiveness is all about letting go. Its’ about you not them.
You’re probably thinking if I forgive them, I’m condoning their behaviour.
This isn’t true.
Why is it important for you to forgive people, and situations?
It’s not about being a push over, it’s about you being wise and strong.
Only allowing positive people and situations rent space in your head.
It’s about rising above what someone has done to you and forgetting about it.
It’s about the now and not about the past.
You have to understand what got broken in order to repair the damage. Don’t necessarily forget what happened, but this is where your values and your boundaries come in. “Forgiveness disconnects you from the event or relationship so it no longer takes your time or energy, no longer causes you pain and is not constantly in your mind. Forgiveness is not saying, “what happened is okay,” it’s getting to a point of saying, “I am okay and I choose to let go of the tie to you and what you did to me.”
It takes bravery and courage to forgive someone because you are digging deep to figure out why things are the way that they are.
You are supporting and accepting this person, people or situation for exactly what it is.
You aren’t putting expectation on someone else. You are allowing them to be who they want to be. You are supporting their own free will and therefore allowing yourself to have free will.
When you don’t forgive someone, it’s the same as not forgiving yourself.
The person or situation eats away at you slowly and insidiously. Unforgiveness is like drinking the poison that you give to someone else. You may want to be right in the situation, maybe you are, in fact, right. But would you rather be right or would you rather have inner peace?
Wouldn’t you rather have a knowing that you are strong enough to not allow this to take you down to a lower vibration?
When you don’t forgive it weighs you down, mentally emotionally and physically. It’s more baggage that is now going to be attached to your body, mind and spirit – pain, discomfort. Etc etc.
You don’t have to physically go to someone who wronged you and have a conversation about forgiveness. This could really set you up for failure – if you are expecting a response feom them, you may never get it and that could set you up for disappointment and more big emotions. The person who has wronged you may not have done the work (like what you’re doing) and may never fully realize or admit that they were wrong.
However, you don’t have to be that person’s door mat either. Set up clear boundaries with them.
Life is about learning lessons and your lesson is to be able to see the good in everyone by forgiving.
Forgiveness is seeing the other persons perspective and allowing them to have their thoughts and beliefs instead of pushing your own beliefs and expectations of how you feel they “should” be, act etc. onto them.
Forgiveness is letting go of the person’s guilt not necessarily their behaviour. You still demand respect. Continue to teach each person how you want them to treat you. Stay true to who you are and remember what your core values are.
When we repress old feelings and beliefs – negative that we have about ourselves (usually provided to us by an external source – mother/father usually as they were the first role model as male and female that we have from a young age) – the mind wants to bury these feelings because the thought of dealing with them is so deep and painful that a physical pain/discomfort is created.
Physical pain/problems are easier for the human psyche to handle and deal with than the messiness associated with feelings, relationships and emotions and all of the messiness associated with this.
Try a gratitude journal.
Biggest thing that I want you to know is that forgiveness is a massive thing